Long-time blog readers know all about my love of Dancing With the Stars—how I absolutely adore the music and the
costumes, the glitz and the glamour. But it’s more than just that. I also love the general spirit of the
show–people learning, growing, and challenging themselves to move out of their
comfort zones and try new things.
And yes, I’ll admit it, I love dancing. Am I any good? Probably
not. But that hasn’t stopped me from fantasizing and joking about my
newfound goal of being asked to compete on Dancing
With the Stars. And every year I blog and tweet about this goal–this
fantasy. And every year, the dream is dashed—dashed, I say!
But every year, I must admit, I have another (actually realistic) hope that someday an author will be considered as much a “star” as Mike “The
Situation” Sorrentino.
Now here we are at Season Eleven, and (by my calculations)
126 “stars” have donned the sequins and the spray tans but not a one
of them has ever been an author.
(Note I’m not including Dancing
celebrities who have, at some point, had a book deal. For the purposes of this discussion,
Nora Roberts, Stephen King, and Daniel Silva are authors. Kate Gosselin
is not.)
One hundred and twenty-six celebrities. The break-down (for those of
you keeping track at home) is something like this:
| Actor/Actress | 43 |
| Athlete | 24 |
| Musician | 21 |
| Reality TV Personality | 11 |
| TV Host or Journalist | 7 |
| Model | 5 |
| Someone Related to Someone Famous | 3 |
| Comedian | 4 |
| Other | 8 |
| Author/Novelist | 0 |
I like to think that the lack of authors on that list is just an
oversight–an untapped resource–and not an out-and-out snub. And, of course, I
am not privy to their brainstorming sessions or wish lists. Perhaps they
send an envoy to Scotland every year in hopes of luring J.K. Rowling out of her
castle. Maybe the producers have Stephen King’s
publicist on speed dial.
After all, it’s not that the people behind Dancing aren’t willing to try new things. For that, I commend
them. (Ty Murray, Season Eight, was an inspired choice and a personal
favorite.) I just have to wonder how and
why after eleven seasons not a single author has made the cut.
Perhaps the thinking is that authors aren’t true “celebrities” and
don’t really play a role in the world of pop culture. Well, writers created True Blood, Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars, Percy
Jackson and Bones—not to mention the
twin juggernauts of Twilight and
Harry Potter. What have Melissa Rycroft,
Ashley Hamilton, and Jake Pavelka given us?
But writers don’t have the overzealous fanbase or niche appeal of past
contestants, some might say. Well, it’s
a fact that Rick Riordan and Jeff Kinney will each draw crowds of 1,000+
screaming tweens whose parents drive for hours to see them and only them; can
Cody Linley and Kyle Massey say that?
I suppose many will say that the powers behind Dancing must be concerned with ratings and if they can’t get an
author who is also a household name like Stephenie Meyer or James Patterson
then no mere author could be “big” enough. But how many Americans do you
think had ever heard the names Nichole Scherzinger, Mark Dacascos, and Gilles
Marini prior to their Dancing seasons?
Maybe the perception is that writers are stuffy, and introverted
and…well…boring. To this I give you Meg Cabot, Charlaine Harris, and Janet Evanovich–all big personalities writing big
books. I also give you Tom DeLay.
I’d be willing to accept the logic that most writers sit at computers all
day, and serious, competitive dancing is grueling work, so contestants have to be
in top physical condition…were it not for Cloris Leachman.
If it were a matter of looking good in flashy costumes I’d willingly concede
except for two things: NYT Bestseller Emily Giffin is a knockout and Steve Wozniak…isn’t.
Jersey Shore and “The
Situation” are hot right now. Neil Gaiman has been hot for decades.
Not everyone who is asked to be on Dancing
With the Stars has everything they look for in a contestant. And I’m not willing to accept that the reason
an author has never made the cut is because there is no author who is also a
beautiful, athletic, A-list megacelebrity. To
my knowledge, very few (if any) DWTS contestants have ever fit that
bill from any field.
Everyone who comes to DWTS comes with a story, a challenge and a
niche. Some will be virtual unknowns who have minds that are trained to
memorize choreography and bodies built to wear next to nothing; a few will be
sentimental favorites while others are best described as ratings goldmines. Or
trainwrecks.
Through the years we’ve had a race car driver, a rodeo legend, and an
ultimate fighter, two entrepreneurs, a politician and an astronaut. Not
everyone is a Pussy Cat Doll. And if there’s one thing that makes me
proud of the DWTS producers it’s that not everyone has to be.
What I don’t understand is how and why no author has ever found a place on
the roster before.
Sure, many authors don’t want to wear sequins and dance on TV. And there is no denying that,
as a group, we are far more awkward and shy than actors and pop stars are bound
to be. But that’s not to say that there
isn’t someone who would embrace the spirit of the show and be a great
ambassador for books.
And my hope? My hope is that in Season 12 we
will see some brave and lucky author do exactly that.
Keep on reading (and dancing!)
-Ally
PS: If anyone out there wants to counter
that authors just aren’t controversial (or entertaining) enough, I give you Lauren
Myracle, the most banned author in America, doing this:
!Cawolyne! says
September 1, 2010 at 7:33 pmi wish you would be asked to be on the show! I would vote for you a thousand times =D
Andrew Shaffer says
September 1, 2010 at 8:24 pmI’ve already got the moves. My book doesn’t come out until January, but after that I’m sure it will be so huge that DWTS can’t turn me down.
http://www.orderofstandrew.com/andrew-shaffers-blog/video-from-mr-romance-2010-competition.html
Katie says
September 1, 2010 at 8:45 pmyea! i completely agree!!!!
Hannah says
September 2, 2010 at 12:30 amWell, Ally, I personally think authors are some of the most awesome people in the world, even if they aren’t on DWTS. I couldn’t imagine life without books. In a way, authors are the stars in my dictionary. And they always will be.
Nadia M says
September 1, 2010 at 10:00 pmNichole Schirzenger went to my middle school and my high school! Ironically, her old teachers said she was really quiet.
Anna says
September 1, 2010 at 10:21 pmWow the Thriller video was funny, and I think you should go for Season 12. Oh and Ally just wanted to ask are you a Michael Jackson fan and would you say he could’ve played the role of Joe Solomon? Just wondering.
suzanne lazear says
September 1, 2010 at 10:44 pmWell said, Ally. Authors are celebrities, too. BTW, your blog made EW http://shelf-life.ew.com/2010/09/01/dancing-with-stars-but-not-authors/
Maybe hollywood will listen…maybe you should send them an audition video.
~Suzi
Anonymous says
September 1, 2010 at 10:53 pmYou should definetly send this post to the DWTS people. I’m sure it would make them think (and realize that your right).
Anonymous says
September 1, 2010 at 11:10 pmWhen DWTS finally casts an author in season 12 i’m going to be so proud of you! (By the way i’ve been waited with bated breath during the announcements every year, just to have my hopes and dreams crushed into a billion pieces when you didn’t make the cut.) Thanks for an insightful and entertaining blog entry, it was lots of fun to read.
Audrey says
September 2, 2010 at 1:01 amMaybe they’ll make a whole season only with authors! Can you say epic?!
Haha that video cracked me up… In 7th grade, I did a Thriller dance too! Coincidentially, it was in an 80s musical– and we also sung Walk Like an Egyptian!!!
I’m hearting your new posting YouTube videosness!!!! 🙂
vonkrupcake says
September 2, 2010 at 12:10 amOmg! You are sooo right, Ally!
DWTS should have authors on the show! 😮
ooh! -idea pops into head- what if you sent us a video of YOU doing the dance :)lol:)
good luck on GG5 and Heist 2!
i cant wait! oh, and guess what?!?!
my friend and i are like spreading the word of your awesome GG series and people are actual going to buy them and read them 😀 yay!
o< <3 🙂 Christi
Lizzy says
September 2, 2010 at 1:23 amI absolutely love you Ally!!! I’m a DWTS fan too and I can’t believe that no author has been on it yet!!! Truthfully, I’ve been wanting you on the show for three years now! It’s so much fun watching your twitter page, good luck with the authordancing campaign!!
Miranda says
September 2, 2010 at 1:55 amLauren Myracle dancing thriller?!? Ally, you should really learn to do that too. I would love to see you and her dance off in DWTS! Lol!
Laura says
September 2, 2010 at 2:34 amAlly, i sincerely hope an author makes dancing with the stars. That would inspire me as a writer and a dancer! 🙂 and it’d just be plain awesome and i’d vote for them!
So come on Gallagher Girls!!!! (and fellow members of the Heist Society!) let’s petition to get an author in season 12! Who’s with me?
-Laura 🙂
Anonymous says
September 2, 2010 at 6:04 amSo someone is finally more banned than JK Rowling? Congratulations, I say. She should get a holiday named after her. June 25th work for you, Ally?
katie says
September 2, 2010 at 2:54 pmYou are right Ally, they should totally have authors on “Dancing with the Stars”. They’re the ones giving us alot of our entertainment. And I was thinking it would be awesome to have the Gallegher Girls on T.V. as a show. But, that’s only a fantasy because that would be hard to make. But still, you can always dream. Thanks for everything Ally!
-Katie <3
alli says
September 2, 2010 at 4:18 pmGO ALLY!!! you rock and your such an awesome writer =))
GallagherGirlsareAWESOME says
September 2, 2010 at 8:28 pmSo true ally so true.
P.s. I would like to note that Harry Potter is a juggernauts NOT twilight. No offense pplz.^_^
Elie says
September 2, 2010 at 8:38 pmI would soooo vote for an author – a ‘real’ author and not – as you said – someone who got a book deal.
My pix for women – Alafair Burke, Beth Kendrick, Mia King, Caitlen Rubino-Bradway, Lauren Weisberger – and you, too, Ally!!
My pix for guys – Max Brooks, Neil Gaiman, Bryan Lee O’Malley, Christopher Paolini, Seth Grahame-Smith
Anonymous says
September 2, 2010 at 11:56 pmLUV DWTS THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOOO BEAST IF YOU MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous says
September 3, 2010 at 6:44 pmHey Ally!! 🙂
I was just wondering!! When is Heist Society 2 Comming out?? BYee!!!! Love your books!!:)
~<3(:Sweet Pea:)<3
Andrew Shaffer says
September 5, 2010 at 1:12 amHere’s my “Dancing With the Authors” column on the Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-shaffer/dancing-with-the-authors-_b_702724.html
Thanks for kickstarting the “movement,” Ally!
Rayne mi middle name says
September 5, 2010 at 10:42 pmwow. you have a piont there.
well since you luv to dance, then why don;t you go on! i mean, half the celebs on the show can’t dance, and they still went for it! why don’t you!
and good things are in the eye if the beholder.
it’s a known fact.
and the lauren myracle’s video was so funny! espically on the part of the ‘booty smack’ or whatever!
genius. and i absouletly j’dore her books!
but there not as good as yours!
p.s. i’m pretty sure you’re not THAt bad of a dancer? you’ll get better somehow!
(try posting a youtube video of the thriller dance+you=EPIC!)
Anonymous says
September 5, 2010 at 11:31 pmOh my gosh Ally if you were on dancing with the stars I would vote for you a billion times!!!!!! I can’t believe they haven’t had an author on the show. Are they crazy? Authors are the true celebrities.