Lately many of you have been wondering what is up with me and my (fictional) boyfriend, George Clooney. Well, to tell you the truth I was kind of wondering myself.
I hadn’t talked to George in a while. (One of the things that makes him an EXCELLENT fictional boyfriend is he isn’t terribly needy.)
But then tonight the phone rang.
And the following conversation took place:
Phone rings.
Me: Hello?
GC: Can I have a cupcake?
Me: (swoon) I’m out of the ones with sprinkles.
GC: I can be flexible.
Me: So what’s up?
GC: Wanna go to the Oscars?
Me: They’re Sunday.
GC: I know.
Me: George, darling, I know you’re the Sexiest Man Alive and all–
GC: Ex-sexiest man alive. Hugh Jackman is the reigning title-holder. And speaking of Hugh Jackman… Oscars. You. Me. Let’s go.
Me: –but don’t you think three days is a little short notice to give a girl when asking her TO THE OSCARS?
GC: Come on. It’ll be fun.
Me: Yes. It will be a blast for all the supermodels who have had TIME to have dresses MADE and their hair cut–
GC: I could cut your hair.
Me: –and who have NOT been eating cupcakes and trying to finish the Heist book for the past two weeks.
GC: Okay. So you don’t want to go to the Oscars. That’s fine.
Me: Did I say I didn’t want to go to the Oscars?
GC: I’m confused.
Me: That makes two of us.
GC: By the way, I heard you’re not going to be on Dancing with the Stars. Again.
Me: I don’t even want to talk about that. I’m still very upset about it.
GC: (laughing) Well, you know where there will be stars…the Oscars.
Me: But no dancing.
GC: Oh, there could be dancing…
Me: I’m still mad at you.
GC: But do I still get my cupcake?
Me: If I’m going to find a dress to wear to the Oscars by Sunday you’d better take ALL of the cupcakes.
-Ally
